We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
You pole danced in your parka.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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