Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
