god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
