He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Bring me that man meat
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
