listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
