I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I pour the whiskey from now on
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
