How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
