We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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