i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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