i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
