I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
