R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
