he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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