im holly from the hills drunk
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize