Plan B is the new Plan A
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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