why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
