OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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