What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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