That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
