dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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