News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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