Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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