wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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