She said her name was "party"
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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