In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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