my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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