Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
