My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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