i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Sorry my hands just texted you
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
that is very illegal...i love you.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
