No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
