I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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