It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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