I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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