I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
