i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize