You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
