Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
