I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
