i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
