the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
