If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
