Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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