If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
