i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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