I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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