captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
