i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
