eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
40s are totally the cure
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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