I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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