I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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