thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
