ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
