did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
