Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
