I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Randomize
