if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize