So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
