I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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