Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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